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Who Sent the Zombie Alert?

· Florida,Zombie,Alert,Hack

Just when you thought that global warming, with its effect of generating heat waves that are longer in duration and hotter in temperature, and which is documented by top scientists, was terrifying enough, here comes a new potential catastrophe: the Florida zombie alert.

The weather patterns are showing an increase in droughts and, conversely, more torrential rainfall and powerful hurricanes. Extreme weather conditions place a strain on the electrical power grids. In Florida, this led to 7,880 Lake Worth citizens opening up a zombie alert during a power outage that went down for just under 30 minutes on May 20th, 2018.

The message warned citizens of Lake Worth that projected repairs would commence at 01:41:28 with an expected completion time of 04:41:28. Useful intel. Also helpful was the red-lettered, all-caps message sent to 7,880 individuals warning of the potential apocalypse of the walking undead.

The zombie alert warned, “THERE NOW ARE LESS SEVEN THOUSAND THREE HUNDRED AND EIGHTY CUSTOMERS INVOLVED DUE TO EXTREME ZOMBIE ACTIVITY.” Zombie activity, like thunderstorms, come in a range of strengths. This was a severe zombie uprising. Which may be why the message warned, in all red capital letters, “RESTORATION TIME UNCERTAIN.” It was this last sentence that may have caused denizens of Lake Worth and Terminus to tremble with fear. The open-ended repairs hinted at the upcoming carnage.

It turned out that instead of a zombie attack, the town was under a computer hack attack. Ben Kerr, a Lake Worth spokesperson, noted that an independent investigation is ongoing to assess the zombie attack message, which echoes a hacking attack (computer, not zombie) that arose last September when Hurricane Irma hit the area. The Hurricane Irma hack was dealt with quickly, and Kerr stated that officials thought they had massacred all the hacked messages. However, a ghost lurked in the machine and a message lingered in the system.

The results of the investigation conducted independently by the city arrived at the conclusion that no employees, either former or current, had edited the prepared message. Meaning that the zombie alert was an evil undead computer hack residing in the system, awaiting the perfect storm to come to life. The Palm Beach Post quoted Kerr in stating that no employee would be receiving “the ax” for the zombie alert.

This article was originally published at michaelharper.org on July 24th, 2018.